just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
