Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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