haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
