are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
