nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Congratulations! We have a period
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