IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
