two words: eviction party
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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