he thought i was a dude.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
