My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
