this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
