Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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