This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
did i just pee glitter
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