You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
