I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
