So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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