i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
MIDGETS
????
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
