On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
