So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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