Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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