You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
