I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize