The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
