Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize