I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
She announced her abortion via fbk
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
