Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
We just shotgunned beers for America
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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