They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
