i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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