You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
