cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
he wants to bone in the snuggie
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
