Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
