I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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