If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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