Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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