well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
