I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
