So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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