we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
