we have pet lesbian snakes
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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