Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Randomize
