I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
