Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
