My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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