just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Randomize
