i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
