His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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