I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
