her vagine was all disorganized.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
