All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
