Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
