Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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