Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
