He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize