I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You are a booty call, not a friend.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
