I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
