Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
