I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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