I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize