The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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