Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
